Self Confidence & Body Image

After a relationship breakdown you may feel you have somehow failed and as a result become depressed or disheartened. In order to progress with your new life you need to feel self confident and believe in your worth. If you believe you can or you can't do something - you are probably right. You should try to start believing you can.

It is common for some people to blame themselves for the break-up of their relationship and especially if there has been infidelity. The 'if only' statements may include: If only I had been slimmer, taller, prettier, less bald etc. Most of us have spent time reassuring friends that looks are not everything yet when a relationship breaks down body image is often revealed as an area of insecurity.

Our body image is the picture and feelings that we have in our mind of our size, shape and appearance. It isn't always a reflection of what is real and can be positive or negative.

We are surrounded daily by images of what the 'perfect body' or appearance is and as soon as we start to compare we can become very self critical.

Unfortunately, a negative body image is often deep seated and can lead to a lack of self esteem and confidence. However, you can make positive changes to start to improve your body image:

Think positively. If you keep telling yourself you don't look good then you will start to think it. Replace those thoughts with positive ones about the bits of your body and self that you like. You can find information to help you here.
Look after yourself. A good diet, exercise and some pampering will go a long way in making you feel good. This will lead to a more positive outlook.
Treat yourself. This could be anything from a new hairstyle; new clothes or treatments that make you feel better.
Ask your friends. Let them tell you what they think about your body. They will probably tell you how great you look and how much they wish they had your legs, hair etc.
Take a compliment. If someone says something nice about you then accept that it is true.
Remember that you have a personality. Understand that you are much more than your physical appearance. We are more than the sum of our parts and just because we haven't got the firmest thighs doesn't make us a bad person.

Here are some useful websites to help you with more information and ideas:

If you would like professional help to address issues related to your body image you can seek further help from your GP or a life coach or professional counsellor.