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20 Nov 2008
 
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Surviving Mid-Life Crisis

If you have identified that your relationship is facing a problem then how do you ensure your relationship survives the ups and downs of a mid-life crisis? Here are some suggestions from some people who have experienced it:

  • Don't run away - either physically or emotionally. This is particularly hard for some people who are not used to expressing their emotions. You may be tempted to suppress your feelings by ignoring them or turning to drink, drugs or even work. If one partner is better equipped to deal with emotional issues they should take the lead and act as a support and catalyst in starting conversations.
  • Choose your time carefully. If you are going to tackle delicate issues ensure there is a safe, comfortable environment when both parties are ready and able to express how they feel. However, don't be tempted to put off conversations because they are too difficult.
  • Be ready to grieve together. It may sound silly but you are losing your youth and many people go through feelings similar to grief - explore what you will miss about being young and then explore what you won't miss. You may no longer have the practical and financial constraints of children and a mortgage - so take advantage.
  • Be grateful. For all the anguish you may feel over losing your once trim waist you are now at a time in your life where you can share amazing things as a couple. Make plans, as a couple, for things you can do in the future now you no longer have as many responsibilities. Looking forward to things gives a sense of optimism and you can only do that if you have things to look forward to.
  • Rediscover each other. If you have drifted apart then this is an ideal time to reconnect. Spoil each other, take some time to talk, set dates and arrange events that you used to like doing as a couple.

Not every mid-life crisis will lead to the breakdown of a relationship and many marriages and partnerships pass through this period with no sign of mid-life woes. However, it is important to recognise that this can be an issue in your relationship and tackle the emotional issues early on.