Abortion

Many people find it difficult to openly discuss this subject, but with around 180,000 abortions happening each year it is very common. People may choose to abort pregnancies for a number of reasons, even if they are in a stable and happy relationship. Some might already have children and feel unable to cope with more; there may be medical reasons that mean it would be unwise to proceed with a pregnancy; those in an unhappy relationship or who are pregnant as the result of an affair; or some who just do not feel ready. You can find information about getting an abortion from the Family Planning Association or from abortion-help.

Whatever the reason for choosing to have an abortion it will have a significant and possibly negative impact on a relationship. The biggest problems arise when one party insists on a termination and the other is not sure or opposes it. There is a sense of loss and grief associated with abortion which can be increased if either partner hasn't felt in control of the decision making process.

There is a clear correlation between relationship breakdown and communication surrounding abortion. Not all problems emerge immediately and feelings about the abortion can surface later in the relationship when issues of regret, guilt and blame may emerge. However painful, it is best to take time to work through the feelings together right from the start and throughout the process. There is support to help couples through this. If you did not get support or resolve issues at the time and your relationship is now threatened by the past you can still get help at CARE , CARE Confidential or from local counsellors.